Hot, tired, exhausted...

It's been so so long since i blogged.

Prom, outings and most of the stuff have all became history. As usual, darren stayed in Singapore for the hols again. Watching friends go overseas has become so part and parcel that even celebrating my birthday alone seems like a norm. Once again, the presents from her were great and unique which equates to more stress on Feb 23rd.

Finally got a job with quan heng at seoul garden. It's hot and tiring but finally, i've started experiencing how life really is. As usual, i somehow always manage to screw things up here and there. Even though i could tell that the others were quite pek chek, they never failed to help and even encourage me.

Feeling bluesy and cheesy now. Somehow, this time, there's really nobody around anymore. YEAH! Go overseas till 30th! Can't expect life to always be a bed of roses but this feeling down business has really got to stop.

Really wished that i had been posted to NS earlier, with the tough training and exhaustion, it would really give an escape from reality. Maybe that's why i took the current job anyway. Oh wells, better rest up. Looking forward to Bo's performance tmr, all the best man.



My tiny lies over the ocean...
My tiny lies over the sea...
My tiny lies over the ocean...
Oh bring back my tiny to me...

Life after As

Thinking back, time really flew. A Levels are now over over over. It always seems that

before the major exams, you start planning a whole series of events such that there doesn't

seem to be much free time. Yet, nowadays i seem to be rotting away.





Class chalet was great. It may be one of the last few/last times that the class will get

together and play again. Jonathan's chocolate mousse was great, as were Bo's satays. And the

Spaghetti that i helped my mum with turned out not bad sias. Enjoyed the walk with cherish

to and from E!Hub, Catching the sunrise from the wrong direction with Bo and even Hysen's

constant whinings. I sure will miss this bunch of people when we finally part ways. The 3

days seemed to be an escape from reality, no more stress of studies or even worrying about

what to do with the spare time. Somehow, the 16 people will have special places in my heart.

Especially Bo and Cherish, the greatest best friends for the past 2 years.




Met with Dominic today to supposedly practice guitar for the prom performance. Somehow, i

don't and can't seem to find the confidence to play to my fullest. Hopefully i can do it by

then/ 1 more week. Ended up wandering around City Hall and Orchard to look for prospective

prom clothes, finally manage to find what dom and i wanted. Shall look forward to picking

the stuff up next week.

Oh wells, i guess it's time to get back to life. Guitar outing tmr and guitar camp on

Friday. It's been a long while since i met the guitar J1s and 2s. Shall look forward to

meeting them tmr. Till then!










p.s. no more emo-ing for me. Cause i realised that it really hurts the one that loves me the
most. To those who know who they are, get out of my life.

it sucks when...

It sucks when you have barely touched Econs and A Levels are 12 days away.

It sucks when to have to smile just so others won't think you are emo-ing.

It sucks when you lose friends, good ones.

It sucks when you know it's hard to get them back anymore.

It sucks when you are feeling down and desperately trying to find someone to talk to.

It sucks when there's no one to be found.




Now, where is that rewind button when i need it.

thoughts

A levels is just 2 weeks away, somehow, time has passed with the blink of an eye.

That same feeling of dread that i felt during O levels seems so surreal. I could have sworn that i have forgotten all about it until the it just pounce when i had least expected it. Prelim results weren't that good and knowing myself, it feels like shit everytime i try to compare. Ever since i stepped down from guitar, life has been on a constant downward spiral. Friends, studies and so much more.

Somehow, i just gotta pull it all together and push this last and heaviest hurdle out of my way. Life is just about to start and i will do my best to get ahead, of course, to build a better future. For us. =)

Bad grades

Midyear exams flew past very fast.

It was damn bullshit and i hate to admit that i am totally screwed for it this time.

25/80 for physics paper 3 ain't really the most ideal result i was expecting and yeah, still feeling damn sore and disappointed with myself after 3 days. Have you ever gotten that feeling of getting bad grades, not knowing what you can do or how to explain to your teachers how it happened?

It's time to buck up, wake up and seriously get down to mugging. But with the new timetable, how can i do this? Without PW, chinese and SPA, the timetable somehow managed to stretch even longer than before, it's seriously damn shitty. However, it's all for my own good.

Was at class outing today and chatting with best friend 3 on the swing. Somehow, we ain't really looking forward to going back to school. And the weird idea of what if someone died of stress or due to being unable to cope with it. Would people sit up and seriously look at the amount of pressure that they are putting on us? Or is it only in this school.

Can't give up at this point though, came so far, fought so hard, experienced so much. I will NEVER let it go to waste. Tasting failure is one thing i shall strive to avoid in future!

Lessons learnt in everyday life

Exams are coming next week, everyone seems to be well prepared though. Rawr, somehow it seems like i am the only one without enough preparation.

Been swimming these few days, forming a cycle of mugging from 8.30 in school and going home at 3 to grab my swimming stuff. I find that the water is someplace where i can escape from all the chaos and stress which i encounter everyday and that even there, lessons may be learnt.

Was resting after completing a few laps at the side of the pool when this father-son duo came into the pool. Not meaning to eavesdrop, i still managed to pick out a few exchanges from them...

Son: "Daddy, what are we doing now?"
Dad: " Get ready for freestroke in 10 seconds."
" Never stop until you reach the end, no matter whether you are swimming or not."

Well, it's a direct translation from chinese but you get my drift. It's true that one must always persevere if he/she is to complete great things. Shall keep this in mind and always remind myself that i must never stop until i reach the end. The A levels.

One week update!

Monday - 2nd June 2008, guitar farewell. Even though many J2s didn't come, those whom i really were close to and loved did appear. It was nice to chill out for once at a guitar event without the worries of something going wrong. Good job to the new J1 exco for planning all these for us! All the best!The only photo i took, but the most precious whereby the juniors spent $15 to construct the 'heart of GEM'. Shall post a photo of my farewell gift soon.

The rest of the week were spent mugging in school and also at the airport with Eugene Tay. Even though we usually end up chatting rather than studying much, i don't feel stress with them around. Chatting with Eugene reminded me so much of PAE period and the many outings with 204. It somehow feels weird that everyone is so separated now that it seems that only Eugene and I are the remnants of 204.

Went out for dinner with her on thursday as her tuition was cancelled. Somehow i feel so bad that i have been neglecting her so much, even after stand down. Came up with a new sign once again that made us realise how kid-ish we were but oh wells, everyone says we look like kids.

Saturday and Sunday were spent at the Habitat for Humanity camp organised by VJC. Apparently, we were supposed to go through poverty for a day and experience how the China Si Chuan earthquake victims felt and also raise funds for them to build houses in China. Couldn't really say i enjoyed the process but my team mates made me feel much better, especially Jin Jian and Le Dung constantly crapping with me and also Azy for her extreme highness that was infectious. At the end of the day, we built this...
The Fang Family house. Don't mind the collapsed side cause the organisers started tearing down the house before we took pics. If you can see, the structure is way different from the other houses after much sawing and drilling by us. But at the end of the day, we didn't win cause we were totally trashed during the other activities.

Shall go to sleep and wake early tomorrow to battle phase part 1. Till then...

Lazy pig syndrome!

I woke up at 12.30 today, well actually it could be worse if not for my brother playing damn loudly on MY guitar.

It pains me every time i see someone who plays in such a 'rough' manner. Imagine how the guitar feels!

Totally forgot that i was supposed to go and watch the tpjc guitar/band concert until i saw CC's msg. Well, their songs were simple but they executed it almost perfectly! To put it simply, it was great! If only MJ has their collection of songs, it sures seems way nicer than the pieces we are usually given.

Went to Simpang Bedok after that with Le Dung, King, Weasley and his friend and ate Roti John. Why is Roti John called Roti John?

From Wikipedia - Roti' is the Hindi, Urdu and Malay word for bread, and more generally for any bread-based or bread-like food, including sandwiches and pancakes. The origin of the 'John' in the name is allegedly due to the Western origin of the Baguette and the tomato sauce used in the dish. During the years of British Colonial rule, all Caucasians and Westerners were colloquially and affectionately referred to as 'John' in Malay, and as such, the nickname of 'Roti John' (literally 'John Bread') was easily arrived at. 0.o

Oh wells, guitar bbq is on monday, HOPE to see a large number of people going! Time to sleep and wake up to a whole day of mugging! Ciaoz

Time is running out...

*ring ring!*

Oh boy! It's the start of a brand new day! Well, waking up at 12 means half the day is already gone. Seriously lagging behind in my studies and my procrastinating is getting from bad to worse.

Many others have already started up their engines, gotten past that initial inertia required to start revision and are moving full steam ahead. I'm still stuck right at the starting line. Starting from tomorrow, going to chiong like mad.

These past 2 afternoons/nights have been pre-u seminar food duty. I suddenly realised how cleaners suffer and yet never complained at all. The participants can just dump their rubbish on the table and walk off even though the rubbish bins were next to them. But then again, who wasn't guilty of such an act before. Shall keep this lesson in mind for a very long time.

NTU wasn't as nice as i thought it would look though going through a hostel experience is something i want to experience when i go to a university, provided i make it. It's going to be an ardous 6 months ahead and if i really want to do well, it's high time to start mugging.

Rahman is leaving after the holidays and from what i heard, many classes are going to lose their favourite teachers too. It's seriously a bad time when we need them to push and scold us for our A levels but in a sense, our own self discipline has to be strong too.

Somebody once told me, " It's your own future, you are still able to control it and it depends on whether you want to do something with it. Studying now and forgoing everything is hard but in the end, you will reap something even more."

Yeah, Darren is going to change. Remember this day!

Revived!

It's been a long time since i blogged.

Nowadays i find that life just flashes by in a jiffy.

Chinese New Year performance, TJ performance, Guitar Cip and even elections of the new guitar exco. Somehow, i'm starting to stop and think about how my past year has really been. So many new experiences, happy moments and yet at the same time, sadness and loneliness.

Maybe this will be the new place i pour into since I have stepped down and no longer am the chairman.

Anyway, been really havoc this past week going out and playing till quite late each day though i really am supposed to be mugging for the upcoming midyears.


My beloved TJ performers whom i had been so harsh on. Thanks for all your commitment and support! Arvin, Benjamin, Shermaine ( i got it correct!), Rosanne, Kai Ping, Hui Ping, Hakim, Nicholas, Junhe, Danny, Chee Ching, Steve, Sherry, Zhi Ling, Eugene and Ee Yen. One day, we will stand on the same stage and wow everyone with our performance again!

Guitar Seoul Garden outing!

I will never forgive you all for dragging me away from my sliced chicken!!! But no matter what, i will always love my favourite ( one and only exco!)! Though we had lots of quarrels, long and draggy meetings, outings to buy guitar stuff or even planning new activities for the members, you all have stood by me and baring with my super bad temper. Thanks a lot guys and don't forget your favourite chairman!

And to the special guy with the red and black adidas shirt. Even though you aren't an exco, you are one to me! Thanks for the greatest support you have shown in guitar and for trying to encourage me on the day i finally broke down! Our band shall come out soon: The Baboons strike back!

1/2 of 07S103! Well, somehow we are always half and never together. Sometimes it's quite saddening? Oh well, just as long as we are happy!

Hahh, so after thinking for the past few days,

i realise that......Darren doesn't really have much close friends.

Many people will be like : "that's bullshit!", "hello, don't say this kind of thing lah".

But really, somehow, when i think of who i can turn to, i don't really know who and even my closest friends are tied up with their affairs.

Oh well, i still remember what yogi always used to tell me during first 3 months, "Somehow everything will be all right".

Maybe it's something i should believe in.

For now, full steam ahead for midyears and i know people reading this will tell me not to be emo!

Well, i shall try. =/

To my super duper ultra busy BF3/TOCGF all the best for pre-u sem!

And to my one and only student, you better do well for your O level chinese!

I love guitar, but it's time to let go.....All the best, J1s and get the gold with honours that i couldn't achieve.